Communication Is Key When Dealing With Cushing’s in a Relationship

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by Paris Dancy |

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I met my wife 15 years ago. At the time, I was just starting a career, I was active and regularly worked out, and I had a nice physique. My confidence was high.

Then, in my early 30s, my wife started to question whether I was still attracted to her. That question threw me off until she explained why she had asked. Initially, what I believed was only neglect on my part ended up being a much more serious issue when I started to dive deeply into what was going on with me.

I have written previously about my battle with low testosterone and the impact it has had on my life. I’ve noticed that many people with Cushing’s disease deal with a low libido, which can lead to a lack of intimacy. This can be very stressful in a marriage or other close relationship. A conversation must take place that may be uncomfortable but necessary.

I recall having this conversation with my wife, and we learned a few things to help improve this area of our lives.

Firstly, being informed is crucial. My wife and I learned as much as we could about what was happening with my body. This was important to me because she was able to understand, due to the research she had done, some of the things I wasn’t able to verbalize. So, I always encourage a spouse or a partner to gain as much knowledge as possible about what their partner is going through and what to expect.

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Communication was the next thing we discussed. We felt it was important for us to communicate to move forward. Communication is key in any relationship, right? We decided that this point wouldn’t change, we just needed to improve it.

Another struggle I had was with my body image. In less than a year, my body had changed so much that I didn’t recognize my own appearance. Clothes no longer fit comfortably. It caused my confidence to spiral, ending in low self-esteem.

Initially, I dealt with all of this internally and didn’t share it with my wife. I was embarrassed by the changes that were happening; I no longer looked or acted like the man she had married. This prompted something we both needed: reassurance.

Reassurance is something I encourage for all relationships, especially when people are dealing with changes. In my case, I was so focused on myself that I didn’t realize the neglect my wife was feeling. Although there may have been a lack of intimacy, I was, and still am, very attracted to my wife, but I wasn’t telling her that. We weren’t going out on dates together anymore, either.

Naturally, without fully knowing and understanding what was going on, she began to have doubts. This led to a period during which she believed I wasn’t interested in her anymore.

Emotionally, this all took a toll on us. So, we decided to face it head-on.

Loving without conditions is what we have chosen in our relationship, and it’s the reason we have made it this far. Our journey is far from over, but we are more confident in knowing that because we made it through this ordeal we can make it through anything.


Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.

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