Community, vulnerability have helped me during the process of IVF

I’m not fantastic at asking for help. I pride myself on my capabilities and have always struggled with feeling like a burden because of my Cushing’s disease. However, my husband and I are in the midst of a move from New York City to Chelsea, Michigan, and on top of that, we’re trying to have a baby through the process of in vitro fertilization (IVF). It’s all incredibly exciting, but given the timing, we have to split up some tasks.

My husband is going to Michigan to close on our house (Eep! Can’t wait to tell you more about that!) and start his new job. Meanwhile, I’m staying in New York to do a frozen embryo transfer. Amazingly, the timing of this process has worked out. I’m currently taking estrogen pills for 10 days, and then I’ll do five days of progesterone shots. The transfer will take place shortly after.

I can’t do the progesterone shots by myself, however. I have shaky hands, and the needles are bigger than I’m used to. And then there’s the actual transfer. I won’t be under anesthesia, but the procedure will be a little painful and cause a lot of cramping, so it’s better if I’m not alone.

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Community outreach

So even though it was hard for me, I reached out to my community. I created an event through Partiful, a free invitation app, from the time my husband leaves until I follow him out to Michigan. My friends can sign up for different days to hang out with me and stab me with progesterone.

This idea turned asking for help into something more fun. My friends have all signed up, and though I have a few days left to fill, my progesterone shots and embryo transfer should be covered. I don’t have exact dates for these, but I expect I’ll need the shots May 26-30, with the transfer on May 31. Of course, there are no guarantees, but I hope to be as transparent as possible about any delays to both my community and you, my readers.

The ugly part

Talking about the IVF process has been healing, but it’s also required me to be vulnerable. I haven’t shared enough about how isolating it can feel. Few of my friends have kids, and I’ve felt like a broken record discussing how much I want them. But I think many don’t realize how difficult infertility can be. You don’t get to experience the same spontaneous excitement of finding out you’re pregnant. Instead, you face weeks of dread, wondering, “Why isn’t this working?” or “What’s wrong with my body?”

I’m so thankful I have a community that’s willing to hear all of my thoughts and concerns while dealing with the absolute menace that I am while on these hormone supplements. My body is going through so much, and I can’t expect myself to stay sane. I’m scared, and I’m particularly stressed that I have to do a lot of it without my husband.

Overall, I just want to emphasize how important community is, and how thankful I am for mine. If you’re going through IVF or a similar process, I hope I can be a part of your community, too, especially now that I see how hard it is.

You can also follow my journey on TikTok and YouTube.

Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.