How Cushing’s challenges helped prepare me for becoming a parent

When I’ve noted publicly that my husband and I are going through the process of in vitro fertilization, I’ve received a lot more backlash than expected. Some said they’d never try this hard to have a kid, while others mentioned that perhaps we shouldn’t bring children into this troubled world.

Disappointingly, multiple people were skeptical that I could be a parent given that I have Cushing’s disease. I completely disagree, and it’s ableist to assume that I can’t handle parenthood. I have a partner to help whenever I feel ill, and other family members are nearby. Plus, we’ll get a babysitter as needed, and the hospital is within walking distance of our home in case of an emergency.

Even if I didn’t have any of that, I’d still be capable of having a child. In fact, I think Cushing’s has made me more capable than others of dealing with kids. For example, I often have to switch up my schedule because of my illness, so it won’t be hard to do that for my child as well.

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Next, some soon-to-be parents worry about giving up their social life, particularly going to bars and clubs. Because of my illness, I haven’t had alcohol in years, and when I do go out, it’s never to a bar or a club.

I must be cautious when I travel, so I think having to do the same thing for a child will be pretty simple. Babies require many medical checkups, and it’s almost comical how comfortable I feel going to a doctor’s appointment. My jobs are set up in a way to accommodate my illness, so it’ll be easy to get the time I need to take my child to the doctor. I work from home, so I won’t have to adjust much for child care, either.

Some things will be difficult. I’m not naive to think parenthood is easy. But compared with finding out I have a pituitary tumor, having surgery during a pandemic, being hospitalized alone, and learning that Cushing’s has returned, a crying baby doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. I’ve pushed through worse situations. A baby is a wonderful thing, and it’s frustrating when people act like our child will be a punishment.

Yes, having a chronic illness is hard. But life is hard. Moving to a new home in a different state was hard. Jobs are hard. Heck, everything is. But the life I’ve lived has prepared me for this more than anything else. I know some people don’t agree, but when you’ve been through what my husband and I have been through, you become adaptable.

I want people to understand that my chronic illness doesn’t impede my ability to parent a child. Rather, I believe it enhances it. I’m stronger because of Cushing’s disease, and I have a lifestyle that is well-suited for a cute, little child. Sure, some things will surprise me, and I’ll have difficult days. But overall, I think it’ll be relatively easy for my husband and me because we’ve been through so many tough and sometimes tragic things. I do believe that our best days are ahead.

You can also follow my journey on TikTok and YouTube.

Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.