With Cushing’s disease, last year did this new year’s goals prepare

New Year’s brings a lot of pressure to change, revolutionize, and become a new version of yourself. Lose those 20 pounds. Run a marathon. Read a book every day. Get a new job. A lot of these resolutions feel so out of reach for me. I can’t run a marathon. I can’t lose weight without help from drugs and medications. It’s not as simple as cutting out caffeine to improve my energy to get a new job. Due to Cushing’s disease, I have both chronic fatigue and insomnia. My illness keeps that new me from bubbling to the surface.

It’s hard not to fall down the rabbit hole of feeling like you’re not doing enough. As the new year rolls around and my Instagram feed is filled with hot yoga and weight loss ads, I end up doomscrolling, comparing myself to others and wondering what resolutions I could possibly manage. Beyond that, what resolutions do I actually want to do, and which are just sold to me via social media ads?

New Year’s used to bring me anxiety that stemmed from my insecurities and fear of falling short. I would make an unreasonable resolution and then spend the year scolding myself for not succeeding. Why hadn’t I read 100 books yet? Why hadn’t I saved $20,000 that year? What was I doing wrong?

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A little more kindness, please

Over the past few years, my priorities have shifted. My goals aren’t wild, outlandish, and unattainable. Instead, they’re ongoing. For example, I’m focusing on building my strength, continually working to get my health in order, and regularly trying to wake up earlier and earlier without fatigue overtaking me. These goals started in 2023, and they’ll continue in 2024. Seeing my goals through this lens has helped me be more well-rounded and to treat myself with more kindness as I enter the new year.

If anyone is unsure about where to start and what goals might be attainable, here is my advice: Focus on how you’re feeling. I’ve been working really hard at identifying my feelings and figuring out exactly how things affect me. Does the idea of hanging out with this person make me happy? Is this goal I’ve set genuinely fulfilling? Do I really want to follow through with my plans or would I feel better if I stayed home?

With Cushing’s disease and chronic illness, there is a lot of guilt. Guilt that people have to take care of me, guilt at having to cancel plans. Guilt. Guilt! GUILT! Sometimes, that guilt consumes me and washes away the rest of my emotions.

The big reminder during New Year’s and this period of transition is that my wants and needs are valid, even if they are different from what someone who’s healthier than me would want. Furthermore, my feelings can change, even in the middle of doing something. If I’m fatigued after spending time with friends, even if we have additional plans, it’s OK to put my health first and go home.

Let 2024 be the year of ongoing goals, attainable mindsets, and health and happiness. I’m wishing all of us a fulfilling and safe year.

What are your goals for 2024? Please share in the comments below. You can also follow my journey on TikTok and YouTube.

Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.