How I’m making having a baby fun despite going through IVF

I have Cushing’s disease and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), both of which cause fertility issues.

With Cushing’s, my periods stopped entirely and my hormones are obviously completely messed up. With PCOS, I had cysts and calcified fibroids on my ovaries. I was told I had a chance to have children naturally, but for now, that chance was low. We had two choices: attempting a natural pregnancy or going through in vitro fertilization (IVF) to get high-quality eggs. We decided that given my PCOS and active recurrence of Cushing’s, IVF was our best choice.

In June, we did an egg retrieval. We got 13 eggs, which turned into nine embryos. Four of those embryos made it to day five and were frozen. Now, 10 months later, we’re working our way toward an embryo transfer.

One of our problems is that the embryo transfer is so clinical. We’re doing an insane amount of research, taking medication and shots, and trying to maintain our sanity. But it’s stressful to go through this procedure, and there’s a lot of waiting and downtime.

So my partner and I are finding ways to make it a bit more fun.

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Putting the fun in IVF

First, my partner and I are deciding how we’ll announce to friends and family that we’re pregnant. Yes, a lot of them are aware that we’re doing IVF (and I’m sure some have read my column, where I’m open about it). But that doesn’t mean the embryo will stick or that I’m definitely going to get pregnant. So when we get there, we’ll make an announcement, which will be fun. Each week we pick a different person and discuss how we’d like to tell them so that we’ll be ready and happy when the time comes.

We’ve also decided not to wait till the first trimester passes, as many people choose, before we tell our community. We understand the advice to wait till after those three months to get beyond the miscarriage danger zone. But that’s a personal choice, and I think it’s lonely to wait that long. Every pregnancy deserves to be celebrated. If you want to keep yours a secret, beautiful, but don’t fault my choice, and don’t do it just because society tells you to. Do what’s best for you!

We got a pair of baby booties that have little cow ears, and we keep them out in our living room. They’re just a little reminder that all this clinical work will lead to a sweet baby, and that’s what we’re working toward.

We started a registry and have talked about a baby shower. I’m a huge planner; it’s one of my favorite things to do, so looking at venues, picking out books, and researching cribs online makes it all feel a bit more normal. It’s regular parent stuff, which we’ve been anticipating with glee. Some may say it’s too soon, but plenty of non-IVF parents do this research and make plans before pregnancy, too.

Date nights

One of the best parts of IVF is that you get a month of planning before the transfer. That means I know I’m almost pregnant and I can eat everything that I want before then.

Last night, for instance, we had sushi, and as I’m writing this column, my partner is out getting tons of soft cheeses. It’s awesome to have a send-off to some of my favorite foods, and it’s always a fun idea for date night.

Connecting with other parents

The last thing I’ve been doing is talking to the parents in my life. It’s been beautiful to connect with people who conceived both naturally and through IVF. I’ve asked them for their thoughts on epidurals, tummy time, cribs, nursery themes, and more. I want to continue such connections through pregnancy because I love hearing different parenting choices. I’ll likely merge some to pick what’s best for us.

IVF is tough, though, and the waiting is worse. To others who are using it, I suggest finding ways to make it feel a bit more normal — and having as much fun as you can. You’re making a baby, even if looks a little different.

You can also follow my journey on TikTok and YouTube.

Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.