Chronically Yours— Noura Costany

Summer is a time of celebration and contemplation for me. June is LGBTQIA+ Pride month, and July is Disability Pride Month. These are two identities I’m proud of, two communities I love dearly, but being queer and disabled has made my life very different from what I expected.

I am struggling right now due to a rough Cushing’s disease flare-up. That’s been clear in some of my recent columns and to those who are close to me. While I hope for better days, it’s not easy. I should’ve seen the signs as soon as I started…

I’ve spent many recent days wrapped up in blankets and trying to get out of my head. Cushing’s disease affects my cortisol, its levels fluctuating due to a teeny-tiny tumor. While my medication, for the most part, helps stabilize my cortisol, sometimes this disease grabs…

I usually try to stay hopeful through my Cushing’s disease — so much so that people often comment that they’re amazed I’m still happy and thriving despite all the hardships my condition has caused me. While I’m proud of my ability to overcome those challenges, a lot of those…

It hits me like a ton of bricks every single time. My stomach starts to knot together, I feel myself gagging, and I know that if I so much as breathe wrong, I’ll end up on my knees throwing up everything I’ve eaten in the past 24 hours. The nausea…

In the past year, as I’ve been dealing with a recurrence of Cushing’s disease, I’ve found myself needing a wheelchair for myriad reasons. My bones are brittle, my muscles are weak, I have vision issues, and I’m at risk of fainting. Furthermore, I have extreme fatigue, which will only…

I’ve often thought that my chronic illness is a burden on me and everyone else around me. Because of this mindset, I’ve found myself apologizing for it. When my medicine caused me to vomit in front of my in-laws, I was embarrassed. When I hit a low point and…

As of this writing, I’m preparing to travel from New York to Michigan to visit my brother. It’s my first time flying in over a year, and I’m a little nervous. Traveling with a chronic illness like Cushing’s disease can be immensely overwhelming, as it’s very different from traveling…

I wake up around 7:30 a.m. to the sound of my alarms. I snooze them one, two, three times. I turn off the humidifier that sits by my bed to counter the dryness that’s been leaving me with bleeding lips and peeling skin. I finally drag myself out of bed…

Cushing’s is a fickle disease. There are days when I can walk without my wheelchair, grab dinner with a friend, and make my way home safely without a problem. There are also days when I can’t move 5 feet without my wheelchair, have night blindness, and need…

It’s happening again. I’m at a social event, and I start to feel it. My head hurts. My vision blurs. I begin to dissociate, feeling myself falling away from where I am. I try so hard to focus, to pay attention to the blurring swirls in front of me telling…

Having a chronic illness is hard in so many ways. It’s hard on your body, it’s hard on your psyche, it’s hard on your life, and it’s hard on your caregiver. As much as I respect, trust, and love my caregiver for all he’s done for me, I have…