Let’s talk about sex and chronic illness

Sex and intimacy can be uncomfortable to discuss. It can feel like a private conversation, especially after receiving a medical diagnosis that affects your sex life. However, it’s important to be open and honest about how chronic illness can affect intimacy so that the topic becomes less taboo.

With Cushing’s disease, my body is not the same from day to day. Some days, my legs are killing me, and I’m incredibly fatigued. On others, I’m raring to go and have endless energy. I show up to those days with different mindsets, and therefore show up differently to sex as well.

Living with a chronic illness or disability doesn’t mean a person isn’t sexual; we may just approach intimacy differently or require adjustments or adaptations at times.

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Cushing’s disease and sex

Cushing’s disease is a hormonal disorder, and hormone imbalances can affect sex drive and function. My body often shifts between “down to clown” and “please don’t touch me for a month.” It can be hard to navigate that with a partner, especially if their sex drive is consistent.

The most important thing is communication. Simply rejecting your partner doesn’t help them understand your mindset or how you’re feeling. If you explain what’s going on, you may be able to explore other forms of intimacy, such as taking a bath together, kissing, or giving each other massages.

It’s also completely OK if you don’t feel like doing anything physical. Let your partner know where your head is at and what would benefit you in that moment, even if it’s alone time.

Taking care of my body

I love that intimacy comes in many forms, including self-care. For me, taking a warm bath prior to sex is helpful because it can alleviate pain. Exploring different positions can be helpful, as some may work better and feel more comfortable than others.

Talking about my health and symptoms can feel unsexy, so I try to phrase things in terms of what I want or don’t want, especially if the conversation is taking place in the heat of the moment.

Here are a few phrases I find helpful:

1. “I like it when you did ___.”
2. “I’m not up for A, but how about B?”
3. “___ feels good. Can we do that?”

Sex doesn’t have to be taboo. There’s a common misconception that people with chronic illnesses and disabilities don’t want sex, but that’s not necessarily true. It’s also important to remember that having a disability doesn’t make us less desirable, important, or beautiful. It’s OK to explore what feels good and comfortable for you.

You can also follow my journey on TikTok and YouTube.

Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.