Chronic stress from Cushing’s causes long-term memory loss for me

Chronic stress can negatively affect a person’s memory. Because Cushing’s disease is characterized by elevated cortisol levels, putting our bodies in a state of chronic stress, those of us with the condition may experience memory issues. For me, it’s a huge issue that deeply affects my life.

My short-term memory is pretty unaffected. I can remember what I did yesterday and last weekend, which tasks I’m working on, what’s upcoming, what I’m reading, and so on.

However, I have very poor long-term memory. It started slowly. I’d recommend an artist to a friend, only for them to stare at me and tell me they introduced me to the artist. I’d get a text from a friend about plans I didn’t remember making. Eventually, I sat down with a family member to discuss it and realized how little I remembered.

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I had few to no memories of my childhood. I don’t remember much from high school or college. Tiny facts get away from me. Events, people — it’s all a blur.

I think my case is particularly bad because I have aphantasia, which means I can’t picture things in my mind. Many memory-recall exercises involve picturing the past, but I am completely unable to do so. When I close my eyes, I see pure darkness. I have an idea of what I should be seeing, but there’s nothing there.

Triggering memories

However, my memory can be triggered. My brother will tell me a childhood story, and it’s like a light turns on in my brain. Old photos spark memories. Music is especially helpful in recalling certain feelings and events.

Now that I have a daughter, I’m terrified of forgetting even a second of her life, so I’ve decided to document it all. I’m making scrapbooks every year so we can look back on her life together. In them, I’m noting things I don’t want to forget, such as the day that she yawned whenever I yawned, or the first time she tried green beans and shoved a fistful in her mouth.

While memories are fresh, I’ll work to preserve them. Since I’m actively being treated for Cushing’s disease, I do have hope that I’ll have greater access to my memories in the future. But for now, I’ll make sure I remember everything about this time in my life.

You can also follow my journey on TikTok and YouTube.

Note: Cushing’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cushing’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Cushing’s.